Tag Archives: memories

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Monochromatic.”


I love this picture, I took it in our local aquarium.  It’s a small sea life centre at Loch Lomond Shores and I’ve been going since we moved out this way over seven years ago!  My son had just turned one and we would go in and sit under the big glass wall where the trout were kept!  The light and shadows, the movement of the fish would help him fall asleep and I would head up to the cafe for a hot chocolate and an amazing view to chill for a while!  Of course going almost everyday would be uber extortionate, so I would get the yearly pass!

Once he started nursery he got his own pass too and we’d head up once he got out!  I was pretty pregnant at this point, so the bus rides were a joy!  Then once his sister was born, we’d head up and he could play in the cafe soft play, while I got got some essential coffee and she would sleep!

She has grown to love going there as much as we do..  Once Darwyn started school and she was in nursery, we would jump on the bus soon as she got out and head up for lunch, a play and to see the fishes!

Now Rowan has started school and we are only able to go up at weekends now, but we still love it and try to get through as we can!  It’s such a great part of their early childhood and played an important role in their introduction to learning… They both learnt to count with the fishes, memorising facts about the different species and the ability to keep spending within a budget  and the meaning of the word NO (the gift shop was conveniently on the way out!)

I only hope we can still have a few more years before we hit the mums not cool to hang with stage…


Life in Song

-The Alan Parsons Project

I have this tune as the opening on my Soundtrack playlist on Spotify! It’s not a list of movie tracks, it’s my own personal soundtrack, the music which I feel represents a small part of my past & memories!!
I imagine this tune sums up the moment right before birth.. Deep I know! 😉
That little rise in tempo, the bursts of movement… You’re not quite sure what’s going on or what’s going to happen.. But it’s all going to be alright!!

It goes onto Scarborough Fair, this of course is being a little kid.. No cares, running around in fields, life is good, but the little sad tempo near the end shows not all was perfect!!

Then Imagination– Belouis Some. I would be a very different person without my imagination, my little worlds & dreams kept me going! I could lose myself in them, while still going about my everyday life.. A part of me closed off & safe!

It goes off onto your typical moody, angry teenage songs… They all have a purpose in the list, they all describe an event or a feeling which was very real.. But no longer important!!
Vangelis, Tears in the Rain appears as a salve… An end to that period, time to take responsibility for myself, to be a victim no more… Reborn out of the flames, as they say!! Time to move on to a new life… And what a life it’s been… 🙂

Went a little crazy.. Out of control – Chemical Brothers…
Met my best friend, Susan’s House, without her I’d surely have starved on a few occasions!! We’ll be annoying old dirty grannies together, before we spend eternity scaring the shit outta teenagers!!
Had some colourful parties with eye opening effects!! The underground club scene was home… Everyone was in it together, we loved one & all… Some people maybe a little too much, damn hippies.. 🙂 I swayed & danced my little socks off… The Sunshine Underground

Scroll on a little, till I met one of the main influences on Me… Mr Exidore, how I miss you now, but back then you were on top!! Opening my eyes even wider, pushing me to accept the little evolutional fuck-up I am!! You were & still are my hero, the insane big brother I always wanted… You named me Fluffmum after my son was born and without your wheedling 11 years ago there would have been no Dr & I, no Fluffgirl at all!! You were the only person who knew me inside & out & not some facet which other people could take… You better be ripping it up big style wherever you are….. The Act Of Being Polite – The Residents…


Met the Dr, the Daddy as I call him on here.. My other best friend… In fact if I could squish him & Susan into one person, I’d have a superfriend!! I love him dearly though as he is… Even as infuriating as he can be… 🙂 He’s given me two beautiful & crazy little monsters to torment mankind with & he works damn hard to support us!! Don’t tell him I said so…. But I think he’s wonderful!!
Through him Fluffgirl was born, funny story that!!
The song is actually by A Band Called Quinn, who he did some filming for back in time… The singer asked me if they could use Fluffgirl as the title… I was like, why ask.. Go for it, I’ll just pretend it’s about me! 🙂

There are two Take That songs on the list… Mainly cause, I loved Starsdust, both book & film & credit where it’s due… rule the world is a good song… It represents my son, though.. Cause I think he could rule the world… The other is Shine, as that was the song which was playing on the radio as my daughter was born!! I remember thinking “no, not Take That… Switch to some Metalica.. Please!!” But she does Shine… 🙂

To proclaim my role as big mama, it’s gotta be Safe From Harm – Massive Attack… It includes all those I care about.. For though he wedged open my heart a little, they have blown it wide open…. I care now… Which may not be such a good thing, with my inner bloodlust…

When my father died, it Hurt me more than I let on… I was angry with him for so long & when we got over our issues we got on so well!! I regret not making more of an effort.. I really regret not telling him I forgave him & that I loved him… I was there in the room when he died, held his hand.. Supported my mother & sisters, but I couldn’t say those words!! I wanted to.. My mother says he knew, but I should have told him!! She says “I’m just him.. No need for pointless words, no point in getting upset over things you can’t change!! Just get on with it!!”
I would’ve hated to be likened to him in the past, but now it makes me feel strong!!

The songs go on, various happy moments.. The supposed end of the world which never happened.. The final song, though.. Has already been chosen & will stay in that spot! I will add to this soundtrack throughout my life (I hope) and listen back on it many times to remind myself where I came from…

The Finale…… Everybody’s Free To Feel Good otherwise known as Sunscreen!!