Tag Archives: life

Share Your World

Since I’ve been away for a while, I’m kinda uninspired on what to write about.  So I reckon some challenges will get the creative juices flowing….

To start with, Cee’s SYW questions…

Have you ever participated in a distance walking, swimming, running, or biking event? Tell your story.   Five years ago I took part in the Race for Life 5K event with my then 4 year old son dressed as Batman!  We pretty much walked it & managed it in an hour, which wasn’t so bad considering I had him on my back for most of it… Then three years ago, I did it again with my daughter who was 3 at the time.  She was kitted out with a tutu, fairy wings, sparkly boppers and the most colourful stripy tights I’ve ever seen!! We managed it in 40 mins that time, she weighs considerably less than her brother and likes to walk.  It was nice to take part in something for a good cause, but it just reaffirmed my dislike of being around large crowds of people.

Name one thing not many people know about you.  Even though I’ve been more upfront about my Aspergers over the last couple years, most people still do not know  about it.  Most of those who do know about it, don’t realise I was diagnosed when I was pregnant with my son over ten years ago.  They think it’s a fairly recent thing, since I’ve only started being honest about it.  At first I hid it, then for a couple years I dropped hints that I might be or was considering getting tested, to gauge responses & see who might support or dismiss me.  Then I just started admitting it, because I was tired of pretending.  It’s exhausting dealing with people & social situations, I think I’ve reached the age where I just don’t give a fuck if it bothers anyone..

What is your favorite flower?  I don’t actually have a favourite flower.  I suppose if I had to narrow it down…. Moonflowers, Morning Glory & any type of Blossom.

Things I want to have in my home (paintings, hot tubs, book cases, big screen tv etc)  I don’t actually want any particular things.  What I would love is to be able to fix up our home to the condition it deserves to be in.  We bought our house just over three years ago. It’s roughly about 120/30 years old and we bought it from an elderly lady in her eighties.  Nothing had been done to it for at least ten years, so we got it at a good price.  We just didn’t realise exactly how much work was going to be required to bring it back!!  We’re pretty sure it still has the original slate tiles and the decor is like the Tardis, a different decade in every room!  It’s a beautiful house, I just wish we had the money to put into all the repairs and renovations it really needs!

Optional Bonus question: What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up?  The schools here started their Spring Holidays last week, so I’ve been able to hang with my kids and laze about or head out on adventures whenever we fancy.  This coming week is the last week of holiday so I get to spend more time with them..  Thanks to my family taking them separately, I also got to spend some one on one time with each of them!  I’m always grateful for that…

Life in Song

Sirius
-The Alan Parsons Project

I have this tune as the opening on my Soundtrack playlist on Spotify! It’s not a list of movie tracks, it’s my own personal soundtrack, the music which I feel represents a small part of my past & memories!!
I imagine this tune sums up the moment right before birth.. Deep I know! 😉
That little rise in tempo, the bursts of movement… You’re not quite sure what’s going on or what’s going to happen.. But it’s all going to be alright!!

It goes onto Scarborough Fair, this of course is being a little kid.. No cares, running around in fields, life is good, but the little sad tempo near the end shows not all was perfect!!

Then Imagination– Belouis Some. I would be a very different person without my imagination, my little worlds & dreams kept me going! I could lose myself in them, while still going about my everyday life.. A part of me closed off & safe!

It goes off onto your typical moody, angry teenage songs… They all have a purpose in the list, they all describe an event or a feeling which was very real.. But no longer important!!
Vangelis, Tears in the Rain appears as a salve… An end to that period, time to take responsibility for myself, to be a victim no more… Reborn out of the flames, as they say!! Time to move on to a new life… And what a life it’s been… 🙂

Went a little crazy.. Out of control – Chemical Brothers…
Met my best friend, Susan’s House, without her I’d surely have starved on a few occasions!! We’ll be annoying old dirty grannies together, before we spend eternity scaring the shit outta teenagers!!
Had some colourful parties with eye opening effects!! The underground club scene was home… Everyone was in it together, we loved one & all… Some people maybe a little too much, damn hippies.. 🙂 I swayed & danced my little socks off… The Sunshine Underground

Scroll on a little, till I met one of the main influences on Me… Mr Exidore, how I miss you now, but back then you were on top!! Opening my eyes even wider, pushing me to accept the little evolutional fuck-up I am!! You were & still are my hero, the insane big brother I always wanted… You named me Fluffmum after my son was born and without your wheedling 11 years ago there would have been no Dr & I, no Fluffgirl at all!! You were the only person who knew me inside & out & not some facet which other people could take… You better be ripping it up big style wherever you are….. The Act Of Being Polite – The Residents…

Exidore
Exidore

Met the Dr, the Daddy as I call him on here.. My other best friend… In fact if I could squish him & Susan into one person, I’d have a superfriend!! I love him dearly though as he is… Even as infuriating as he can be… 🙂 He’s given me two beautiful & crazy little monsters to torment mankind with & he works damn hard to support us!! Don’t tell him I said so…. But I think he’s wonderful!!
Through him Fluffgirl was born, funny story that!!
The song is actually by A Band Called Quinn, who he did some filming for back in time… The singer asked me if they could use Fluffgirl as the title… I was like, why ask.. Go for it, I’ll just pretend it’s about me! 🙂

There are two Take That songs on the list… Mainly cause, I loved Starsdust, both book & film & credit where it’s due… rule the world is a good song… It represents my son, though.. Cause I think he could rule the world… The other is Shine, as that was the song which was playing on the radio as my daughter was born!! I remember thinking “no, not Take That… Switch to some Metalica.. Please!!” But she does Shine… 🙂

To proclaim my role as big mama, it’s gotta be Safe From Harm – Massive Attack… It includes all those I care about.. For though he wedged open my heart a little, they have blown it wide open…. I care now… Which may not be such a good thing, with my inner bloodlust…

When my father died, it Hurt me more than I let on… I was angry with him for so long & when we got over our issues we got on so well!! I regret not making more of an effort.. I really regret not telling him I forgave him & that I loved him… I was there in the room when he died, held his hand.. Supported my mother & sisters, but I couldn’t say those words!! I wanted to.. My mother says he knew, but I should have told him!! She says “I’m just him.. No need for pointless words, no point in getting upset over things you can’t change!! Just get on with it!!”
I would’ve hated to be likened to him in the past, but now it makes me feel strong!!

The songs go on, various happy moments.. The supposed end of the world which never happened.. The final song, though.. Has already been chosen & will stay in that spot! I will add to this soundtrack throughout my life (I hope) and listen back on it many times to remind myself where I came from…

The Finale…… Everybody’s Free To Feel Good otherwise known as Sunscreen!!