Category Archives: Daily Prompt

Sorry my arse!

Daily Post: Apology!

Sorry!

It’s not a very forthcoming word is it?  Sorry…

Unless someone bumps into you on the street and you say sorry for some bizarre reason, then it comes out all on its own, no problem at all!

Why is it so hard to say for some people.  Obviously no one likes to admit they were wrong, for some they simply don’t care!  Then there are the people who just apologise all the time, even when they have done nothing wrong!!  I don’t get that either…

Myself, I’m a sorry if I’m caught out kinda girl!  Though sometimes I have been known to do it without provocation!  I don’t hear it very often though!

Personally towards me, I don’t recall it ever being a common word!  No one ever apologised for my childhood being the way it was.  According to my mother, that’s just the way it was back then!!!  🤕

I’ve been assaulted mentally, physically and sexually, yet never heard a sorry about that either…  I must have done something to provoke it!  🙄

Never hear an apology about hurtful comments, I’m just being overly sensitive…. Though how can that be, when previously I was being called insensitive.  🤔

Now to be honest, apart from teaching my children manners, I don’t really care about apologies!  It’s an empty word to me, one pulled out to appease a situation, to make one person feel better about being a dick & the other think everything is really okay!

So I don’t need apologies, I’ve done very well in my life without them!  So if anyone from my past shows up feeling some modicum of guilt, then they can take that pish poor sorry and ram it right up ’em….

 

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “No Cliffhangers.”

Soooo, for the last three months, I’ve had my brother-in-law to stay!  He came to recover from the utter cock up of his life so far and being the wonderful person I am, didn’t say no to him staying with us!!

I suppose he’s not that bad, don’t get me wrong, he’s a total dickwad, but he has his good points!  I just fail to see many of them…  Since he arrived, he has helped himself to the kids treats, nicked two bottles of expensive booze, constantly used up all the bread (when he knows I have to make pack lunches in the morning), leaves a massive mess in the kitchen, never washed a dish, starts to cook things on hob, then walks off to do something else (I have two young kids in house) knifes right at edge of the counters, used his brother as a free taxi ride, several times he staggered in pished as a fart, while my children were in the house!  Started a fight with his brother, starts yelling at either himself or someone on the phone in the middle of the night (I actually lost it with him couple nights ago, he was threatened with the shed and my foot in his face), invited himself along to a personal family dinner on my birthday… ( I did not want him there, my birthday!!)

Made constant digs to me about going to work and exercise!  (Not that I need to explain myself, but I haven’t worked since I was pregnant with my son, eight years ago!  My partner made enough that we could afford for me to stay at home with our children, which was what we both wanted.  Now my daughter has started school, I’m looking for work again, but it’s bloody hard when you’ve been out the game for so long!  My skill set is obsolete and when you add in my Aspergers, it makes things a little more complicated! This is not an excuse, I am searching & applying for jobs constantly!  I just don’t need Mr Fuck-Up judging me for sitting down to have a coffee and play a game at lunchtime, after being up since 6am and doing the school run and housework!).

I actually fucking hate him, I really do!  I hate hating people, but he’s a douche canoe…  I’ve been avoiding going home after dropping the kids at school, just so I don’t have to speak to him.  He has absolutely no respect or consideration for anyone!  He never apologises for anything, even when he knows he’s been a dick!  He can’t close a fucking door, though I think that may be a family trait, both his brother and my son have the same problem!!  Like today, I come home, front door is locked as both dickwad and my guy had gone out,  but I discover the backdoor has been left wide open!  Sure come on in, we won’t mind if you nick our stuff!!!

Despite all this though, the prick is a great, if rather annoying uncle!  Kids love him to bits, even when ranting about his being a pain and stealing all their food, plus commandeering the iPad and Xbox so they can’t get on them!

They were sad to see him leave this afternoon, though admitted to me quietly afterwards that they were also quite happy about him going!

Yes, that’s right… He’s gone, on a plane, fucked right off out of my range of concern! Well, for another three months, then he said he’d be back…. But I may have rented out our spare room by then!  For now though, my house is my own again.  I am comfortable, happy and relaxed, because for the next few months I’ll sleep well knowing everything is awesome and all was well with the world.

In response to The Daily Post’s weekly photo challenge: “Monochromatic.”

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I love this picture, I took it in our local aquarium.  It’s a small sea life centre at Loch Lomond Shores and I’ve been going since we moved out this way over seven years ago!  My son had just turned one and we would go in and sit under the big glass wall where the trout were kept!  The light and shadows, the movement of the fish would help him fall asleep and I would head up to the cafe for a hot chocolate and an amazing view to chill for a while!  Of course going almost everyday would be uber extortionate, so I would get the yearly pass!

Once he started nursery he got his own pass too and we’d head up once he got out!  I was pretty pregnant at this point, so the bus rides were a joy!  Then once his sister was born, we’d head up and he could play in the cafe soft play, while I got got some essential coffee and she would sleep!

She has grown to love going there as much as we do..  Once Darwyn started school and she was in nursery, we would jump on the bus soon as she got out and head up for lunch, a play and to see the fishes!

Now Rowan has started school and we are only able to go up at weekends now, but we still love it and try to get through as we can!  It’s such a great part of their early childhood and played an important role in their introduction to learning… They both learnt to count with the fishes, memorising facts about the different species and the ability to keep spending within a budget  and the meaning of the word NO (the gift shop was conveniently on the way out!)

I only hope we can still have a few more years before we hit the mums not cool to hang with stage…

On Repeat..

Tell us about a book you can read again and again without getting bored — what is it that speaks to you?

There are a couple books I can read again and again!! The oldest one is

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I don’t really know why I love this one so much! I’m not remotely religious, in fact I go out of my way to avoid it at all costs!! Except religious art and architecture!! I love that, but mainly I love the style rather than the subject matter!!

So why have I read this book so much that it literally falling to pieces!! The cover is attached by a tiny thread, the pages are wrinkled and discoloured, stains of most likely coffee, but bugger if I know what the others are!! There are notes in the margins, from when I used it for my RPR in school! Tiny little red scrawls in my midget handwriting, which I can’t even make out anymore or remember what they were, but seemed so very important back then! Insights into how my mind worked back in the day!!

I think I like the idea that the devil wasn’t the bad guy! I don’t believe in the devil or god or any of the Christian mythology, let me point that out!! To me, religion is just that, mythology!! A way of explaining a life when no apparent answers are available!! Modern religion is no different to the ancient thinking of thunder being the gods fighting in the heavens! Now, before anyone takes offence, I don’t think I’m right either! It’s just my take on things. In the past I was what you would call a pagan… Not Wiccan, eck, noooo!! Too nampy pampby for me… Which is also why I never got into Buddhism… I’m a fighter, not a lover!! It was how I looked at things then, now it’s a little more complicated…. I’m a cross between pagan and egnostic….. … Egnogan!! Sounds like a winter drink gone postal!!

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But, I digress.. Back to the matter in hand! Job, I think it’s a great story..I like how it makes me ponder, yes.. ponder the characters dilemmas… I love the characters themselves, Alec, Margrethe, the little imp who played the part of satans daughter! I really liked her…

To be honest, I haven’t read Job in at least 5 years. It’s still packed away with most of my books, since I have nowhere safe to put them here!! And now I’m older, I may not enjoy it as much as I did before! As a child and teen, the sexism and slightly racist narrative went over my head, I just enjoyed the story! I read it in my twenties and noticed it, but put it down to the time it was written! I’m not sure I could make those excuses now!! I still love the story and remember it fondly, but if I’m honest, perhaps it’s one which should stay a happy memory!!

Me, Myself & I…

If you could clone yourself, how would you split up your responsibilities?

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Is this a multiple cloning or just the one? Also would it be a complete clone or just a facet of my personality!! So many variables to play with on this one…. Would all knowledge and experience be uploaded onto the main source; me!! Is there a shelf life? Do clones have an expiry date..?

Lets go with the idea that it’s multiple, short loan clones with the ability to upload what they’ve done as if you’d been doing it yourself!!

I would certainly have one clone do all the cleaning, another could get a job and earn me some money, while another would do all my socialising and one more for all the protesting & political pitchfork raising I’d love to do…. Of course another for doing some education, going to uni.. The only responsibility I wouldn’t delegate would be my kids, gaming and crochet!! I enjoy them way too much!! Though if all the other jobs were getting done, then I’d have copious amounts of time to devote just to them!! Now that would be the life!! Of course, some socialising I wouldn’t delegate!! Some people are worth the real me… Most the dodgy pirate copy… Hang on… That is the real me… Arrrrrrr!!!

I’m actually for cloning, I think it could solve a lot of problems.. It could most definitely cause a few too! Like GM crops and Gene slicing, these things hold amazing opportunities for humanity, but I can’t trust those holding the reigns just now!! Take the money and power out of the equation, make it for the good of the people, rather than a price tag…

Round and round…

What song is stuck in your head (or on permanent rotation in your CD or MP3 player) these days? Why does it speak to you?

All music speaks to me, it’s an extension of my expression! I show how I’m feeling through what I’m listening to!!
At the moment though, i have two songs which I choose to be swimming around in my head, as apposed to the Disney massacre my daughter is putting on me!!

Well, those are… ‘I’m not Jesus – Apocalyptica’… It’s personal and not something I wish to go into, but this song reminds me that somethings are unforgivable and that I’m not a weak little girl anymore! I’m fluffmum, super stomper!! 😉

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The next song is ‘Sunshine Underground – Chemical Brothers’.. This one, just makes me feel happy, I hear it play and my toes start a tappin’…. It reminds me of my early party days, when a weekend was Wednesday to Thursday and a few extra days flung in!! High as a weather balloon being sucked into space and as grubby as hell, but they were damn good days and I wouldn’t have missed them for the world!!

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There is another song which is actually stuck floating around in my mind, ‘Moonlight Sonata – Beethoven’… The reason this one is stuck in my head, is because it appears in the Spider-Man game, Web of Shadows… My Spawn has taking a instant fascination with it. It automatically starts with this playing, and goes straight into a new game..He won’t load his saved game until it’s finished playing… It’s not a bad piece of music to have to sit through, I love it myself!! He is hooked on it, will start humming it to himself, knows the name off by heart… Which can sometimes startle people, especially when asking him what he’d like to listen too!! Expecting some kinda kids tune or heaven forbid… Pop music!!! They get asked for Moonlight Sonata by a five year old, followed up by AC/DC… Boys got taste!! The outcome of his constant humming and playing is that it is well and truly glued to the A-track of my brain!!
This causes it to sometimes collide with the other forcibly attached tunes…. Like ‘When Will My Life Begin’, ‘A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes’, ‘I Wonder’…. Can you guess the torment I was put through to squeeze the words into a permanently remembered sheet stuck to the back of my eyelids!! I shudder at the recall, then more at the notion that it’s not yet over…. More Disney films to be made with more irritating and soul destroying music to be pumped out!!

But hey, if it makes her happy and she runs round with a sword now and again with her brother… I’m content!! Might invest in some earplugs though….

Switch..

If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be, and why? If that seems too easy, try this one: who would you like to have spend a day as you and what do you hope they’d learn from the experience?

I think the only person I would want to be for the day, would be myself 10 years ago!

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The thinner, fitter, healthier fluffgirl..

I would then inflict some serious brain washing on the subject of exercise & healthy eating, so it would become second nature and I wouldn’t turn out as the frumpy dumpling I am now!!

Though that would include time travel into the already complicated mix of body transfer!!! So I don’t see it ever happening… Well, I’ll just have to get up off ma arse and put the work in… 🙂

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Now, who would I want to be me for a day?? Well the obvious one is of course the Mr!! Who wouldn’t want their partner to go a day in their shoes…

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It would be interesting to see how he managed.. Especially when he sometimes doesn’t remember to feed them at lunchtime if he’s watching them!!

That would be it though… I don’t want anyone else knowing what I do or deal with, because in order to truly be me for a day, you’d have to take all the baggage & emotional (or lack of) hoopla which comes with it!! I wouldn’t wish that on anyone, nor would I want anyone knowing me that intimately…. So though I may sometimes wish that someone could understand where I’m coming from or what I actually do. It’s not something I’d enjoy going through with….

What’cha thinking?

Pause whatever you’re doing, and ask the person nearest you what they’re thinking about (call someone if you have to). Write a post based on it.

Okay, I’m currently munching down on some nice apple slice.. I’ll stop for a wee minute though to do this.. The nearest people to me are the midge and spawn, who are in the process of devouring some ice cream….

Spawn….

not thinking anything….

Me: you must be thinking something

nope, nothing!!

Me: what’s up with you? ( as he looked a bit grumpy now)

oh, just thinking…..

Me: what about?

…..about if someone hit me and I hit her back! Would I get into trouble?

Midge….

not thinking… no no pictures….. I’ve got nothing in my head…

That’s all I got out them before they ran off to play again!!

See, I don’t believe Midge for a second… She only said that as it’s what Darwyn said and also because she was making her ice cream into a fairy river, so she was definitely doing something in her head!!

Spawns is typical, as a 5 year old boy, he’s always thinking of some form of physical contact… Though recently, since New York and his eyeful of the naked cowgirl in Times Square… His physical realms have evolved a bit!!

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Cracked Reflections..

Imperfections — in things, in people, in places — add character to life. Tell us about an imperfection that you cherish.

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There is no such thing as perfect, it is an impossible ideal! A fairy tale of attainment!! People strive for the perfect life, groom themselves to look perfect, create the perfect home, mould the perfect children!! Bullshit in my opinion…

To work towards perfection is in itself imperfect….. In fact for me, imperfect is perfection!

My messy house means another day of managing my OCD, another day of successfully working towards healing my mind!
My sticky, scruffy children who talk back and ask countless annoying questions! They are sticky from having fun, scruffy from being left to explore their surroundings rather than made to sit quietly out the way! They talk back from the desire to speak up for themselves, to speak their mind and defend themselves or others! What could be more perfect than those constant questions and repeating “why’s”? It’s a sign of intelligence, a desire to learn, to discover!! They should all be encouraged, even the “why do boys have wangles?” in the middle of restaurants… Or “where are that mans legs?” which I always reply, why don’t you ask them.. Curiosity is natural, it shouldn’t be shushed…. Ever!!
As for looking perfect, lets face it… It’s an unattainable feat for me… I am scruffy, I try to look smart and it just doesn’t work!! There is nothing perfect about my appearance, I’m overweight, short, no style at all, wonky teeth ruined from a well spent twenties full of booze and drugs!! Yet, I have a man who loves me, scruff and all!!
I make it sound like I’m an extra from Shameless there, I’m really not that bad… More frumpy than schemie!!
As for wanting a perfect life, I believe I have it, a man who loves me.. Bright, healthy children.. A roof over my head… Good friends I can count on.. A family who will help me… What could be better than that??

Though that doesn’t really answer the question at hand!! An imperfection I cherish!!

Life, I cherish life… With all the ugliness and danger, evil and nastiness it contains… Because in amongst these imperfections of character…. true kindness, love, beauty and fluffiness shines through!!!

Life or death..

Describe your ultimate escape plan (and tell us what you’re escaping from).

Escape plan… You wanna know my ultimate escape plan??.? Of course I have one, I’ve had the end of the world/zombie plan all mapped out since I was 11 years old and it has changed very little… Obviously I’ve had to include my mental little sprogs, can’t be leaving them behind…. Also get on better with the family unit, so have a clause for them too…

It includes Govan police station, My dads workshop, homemade machetes, Glen Douglas, horses, tractors, boats & islands!! Various shopping centres & food stores along the way & a modified tanker to carry the squishy ones!! People already know I’m pretty nuts, but my escape plan stays private-ish…. At least with the details.. .. cause if they got out, folk might see how far I’m willing to go, to protect the survival of those I care about… Trust me, mad max… pussy in comparison…!!! Think more Honey Badger…

Though I’m entirely harmless, honestly.. I’m a lover not a fighter…. Just don’t light the match near my fuse…

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Have I mentioned my escape plan OCD compulsion? I may have done… It requires me to map out any and all exits from wherever I am… Take now for example..

I’m sitting in costa coffee, I’ve got my cinnamon latte & raspberry & almond bake… So I find a table, while walking to it I clock the back exit to the service corridor.. The belly of the centre!! Then when putting the tray down I check the position of the toilets, but score them off my list as an escape option, as they have no windows.. So a hiding place only, no good with ravenous zombies on the prowl… The whole front of the cafe is open, so I can see fairly well in both directions… From where I am sitting I know of five different ways to get the hell out of here, there will be more if I put my mind to it!! But, I’m nearly finished my latte now.. So I’ll leave them for another time..

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