Feeling much better about myself!! Been going through a strange black hole of contemplation, but without the acid, so wasn’t much fun!
Out the other side now and some things have become apparent. My OCD, is no longer a controlling factor.. I wouldn’t say I’ve kicked it, but I don’t have those twisty, warpy sensations over mess or clutter anymore!! I don’t know what changed, but my brain is now going along with common sense on it’s own, without any management from me!! I still have to ensure my cutlery is all straight on the table and that I’m in line of sight of all entrances, use matching colours of pegs per item on the washing line and switch the living room light on and off before I leave the house or go to bed (this was an unconscious one, pointed out to me recently!) there are a couple more, but all small, nothing life stopping!! No more freezing or tensing up over messed up cushions or the Mr trying to “help” put away the shopping…. … No constant list making of jobs to be done which never get started because I’m too panicked about getting the list perfect.. Gone… I really do think they are gone!
I feel so relaxed, so comfortable in my own home! It’s amazing..
We finally got the back garden cleared out, with the help of an amazing man! The speed at which this guy works is astounding!! He’s taken it upon himself to fix up our wee tip and transform it into an actual garden! I’m not complaining, he’s done a grand job so far! The kids can play out and we’re gonna get an actual grown up shed and flowers put in… Some wee ornaments too!! I’ll draw the line at water features though, I feel posh enough having what seems like my own wee gardener!
Just got to start on decorating the inside of the house!! One job at a time though… 🙂