Life or death..

Describe your ultimate escape plan (and tell us what you’re escaping from).

Escape plan… You wanna know my ultimate escape plan??.? Of course I have one, I’ve had the end of the world/zombie plan all mapped out since I was 11 years old and it has changed very little… Obviously I’ve had to include my mental little sprogs, can’t be leaving them behind…. Also get on better with the family unit, so have a clause for them too…

It includes Govan police station, My dads workshop, homemade machetes, Glen Douglas, horses, tractors, boats & islands!! Various shopping centres & food stores along the way & a modified tanker to carry the squishy ones!! People already know I’m pretty nuts, but my escape plan stays private-ish…. At least with the details.. .. cause if they got out, folk might see how far I’m willing to go, to protect the survival of those I care about… Trust me, mad max… pussy in comparison…!!! Think more Honey Badger…

Though I’m entirely harmless, honestly.. I’m a lover not a fighter…. Just don’t light the match near my fuse…

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Have I mentioned my escape plan OCD compulsion? I may have done… It requires me to map out any and all exits from wherever I am… Take now for example..

I’m sitting in costa coffee, I’ve got my cinnamon latte & raspberry & almond bake… So I find a table, while walking to it I clock the back exit to the service corridor.. The belly of the centre!! Then when putting the tray down I check the position of the toilets, but score them off my list as an escape option, as they have no windows.. So a hiding place only, no good with ravenous zombies on the prowl… The whole front of the cafe is open, so I can see fairly well in both directions… From where I am sitting I know of five different ways to get the hell out of here, there will be more if I put my mind to it!! But, I’m nearly finished my latte now.. So I’ll leave them for another time..

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