Dry spot

We cry for lots of reasons: sadness, pain, fear . . . and happiness. When was the last time you shed tears of joy?

It’s fairly safe to say, I don’t tear up!! Not anymore, I use to be a walking raincloud, wouldn’t take much to start me weeping like a right sob story!! I think I wrung myself out, the Mr has seen me cry 3 times in 11 years.. My best friend has seen me well up once in the last 15 years… I think i actually broke back when I was 19, it was the final emotional straw, whatever had kept me attached emotionally, whatever helped me to feel was cut… I had nothing to give after that…

So for 10 years, I was emotionally cut off, a cold excuse for a person… I fully admit it, I cared for no one.. Only three people ever actually got me to open up to them & I love them for it, despite all their infuriating habits… 🙂 Then I had my son and daughter! It was like a dam broke, I had something so precious in my arms, something I would actually die for… I switched back on.. I wouldn’t say I’m a well of cuddly hearts & kisses!! I’ve never been able to understand other people’s feelings or why they get upset… I can pretend quite well, but I can’t sympathise, not really!! Unless I actually care for the person, then I just feel guilty for not being able to give them the hug they need or the consoling words to make them feel better!!

My children make me almost cry, almost on a weekly basis…. Mainly of joy… I look at them achieve something or even just playing and I can actually feel my heart cracking… I’m such a pussy, these days.. Lol..



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