What are you more comfortable with — routine and planning, or laissez-faire spontaneity?

I hate routine, the very thought of it makes my inner hippy shudder!! Yet, as a mother of two kids, my entire day is run by the Routine Commander!

Up at 6am with the Midge… No reason other than she feels that is the best time to wake up…

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And would you argue with this before coffee?

Then the Spawn at 7am, to be fed & watered!! If all goes smoothly he could be washed, groomed & dressed with time to spare for a couple cartoons before heading out the door at 8.45 to get to school!!

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Therein ends my commitment to routine… Apart from making sure he gets to Tae Kwon Do every Thursday & she goes to her play group on a Tuesday morning, randomness runs the show!!

The Midge & I decide where to go that morning, usually on the way to the bus or train! We call it adventure time, it could be a full on trip to Glasgow, a wee jaunt to the softplay or our favourite Loch Lomond Shores..

I know, hardly grande travels, but you trying walking around with a two year old.. See how far you get!!

I love randomness, the spontaneous little adventures & events of the day! I don’t have as many random meet ups anymore, don’t know enough people where we live now.. But in Paisley I could walk out & meet loads of people I knew, the odd little catch ups & stop’n’chats!!

But as much as I love randomness, I am actually quite nervous about doing new things, going new places! I bet my friends wouldn’t think so, as I usually make out I’ll jump in first, but it’s all an act!! Inside, I’m shitting myself & my stomach is in knots…

I also love planning things, I am the list master, I make lists of lists! I also suffer from OCD, it use to be quite domineering in my life… List making & cleaning were my things!! I would go for hours & stress over the slightest thing out of place! I fought it, like anything I’m afraid of.. I faced it! I forced myself to not clean, to let the pillow be put back in a different position!

Living with people made me hid it, having kids made me control it… It’s still there, always will be, but I’m in charge now… I look at my messy living room and think about the reason why there are toys all over the floor & I find it’s preferable to have happy, messy kids than none at all!!

There are days when I shouldn’t clean at all.. My down days, I know the other half thinks they are my lazy days, but the truth is… If I start cleaning, while feeling that way.. I won’t stop! For anything! I can’t take the chance that I will get so caught up, that I won’t feed my kids or take them to school or scream at them for jumping on the couch & knocking a cushion off.. (You may have noticed, that cushions & pillows are a sore point!)
It’s important to me, that my children are happy & feel safe.. That overrules my problems & issues.. So I will sit in the pigsty & my brain will be screaming at me to do something about it, but I will ignore it! I will let my Midge give me soggy, mucky faced kisses, because I love them! I will let my son leave his toys all over his floor, because I want him comfortable in his own home! I will let the other half walk in with his mucky boots, as I care more about him spending time with us than having to wash the floor again!!

My name is Fluffmum & I am stronger than me!!

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